I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We're too hungover to prance.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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