So drunk its hurt
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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