it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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