So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
