38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
