Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
