Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
