"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
