you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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