Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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