He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize