Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
