Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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