I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
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Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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