I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
