The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
