I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
