You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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