So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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