I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize