I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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