sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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