If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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