She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize