She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i dont even know how to be here
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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