i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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