Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
