After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
