they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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