video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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