it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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