There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
How's work?
Spinning.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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