There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
