It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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