girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
