I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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