I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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