I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Vodka?
Forever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
