No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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