he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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