i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
