we have pet lesbian snakes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
