Kiss
Puke
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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