The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize