Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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