so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
