I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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