Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
