I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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