How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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