My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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