I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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