i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
