I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
