the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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