Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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