butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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