Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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