burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize