well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
