So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
