It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
